Ego Much?

January 22, 2013

Tonight my instructor introduced me to ipon (pronounced ee-pon) sparring. It’s where there are five judges calling points for a fight. There is one judge in each corner and a centre judge. The centre judge starts and stops the fight so all the judges can say what fighter they believe got a point. To win the match a fighter must have all five judges award him/her the point. Sometimes there is a single clash and all the judges see the point scored and the match is over. Other times the angle of the fighters or a sloppy technique make it hard to see the point and the match drags on and on.

I had three fights tonight. The first I lost in about five seconds. I was frustrated, but totally deserved to lose. I wanted to fight the same girl again because I knew I could do better. The second fight I won, but it took a while and my opponent actually scored more points on me than I did on him. It’s just that not all the judges could see his points. I was so surprised by my victory I threw my hands in the air. I wasn’t being a jerk, I was just shocked and happy that something so unexpected happened. The third fight was a rematch with the first girl. It went on for about five thousand years (that number was given to me by my woeful cardiovascular system). Time after time judges would award me the point, but not all of the judges. Once, I gave the only judge not to call in my favour a look that should have turned his liver to ice and simultaneously melted his face off. Sadly, he did not expire on the spot, but instead just stood there, hands crossed in front of his chest. Finally, my opponent took me out with a kick to the face. The face! Mother f! Now, she too must die.

I cannot lie, I had a few minutes of unsportsmanlike thoughts. Totally ego driven thoughts. It was like there were two of me in my head. One little punk that wanted payback for that kick to the face. The other, is the me that I like. I am so glad that when asked who fought the better fight, I answered “It doesn’t matter, she won the point.” And she did. She deserved to win that match as much as I deserved to win my second one.

P.S. I should also mention that my male opponent was a great sportsman and that my female opponent is absolutely lovely and twelve years old. Seriously. In defense of my wanting to crush a twelve year old, she is taller than me, wears makeup and could easily pass for fifteen.

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7 Responses to “Ego Much?”

  1. Sharon Says:

    Oh my gawd, is it awful that I’m killing myself laughing over here?


    • I don’t see how you couldn’t if you are envisioning me as Cramer terrorizing little kids like a lunatic. For me to say that this girl acts and looks mature for being 12 (13 in March), would just be a wee bit sad and pathetic, but true, don’t forget true.


  2. I am the biggest wimp. Anywhere. Chances are if I’d been kicked in the face, I would have run out of there bawling. See? Big wimp. You rule.


    • Thanks! It didn’t really hurt (except my pride). We wear helmets and foot pads. The little kids wear face guards, and now I see why:/ If a classroom full of kids doesn’t bring you to tears, I doubt a whack to the head would:)

  3. Katja Says:

    I was going to be all, “Ya let me kick some ass with you,” until the 12 year old part. *snort laughing* With you of course.


    • I know, it’s so ridiculous. On one hand, she’s 12 and I am cruel old hag for wanting to beat her. On the other hand, she’s 12 – young and strong and fast and I’m decrepit. It’s a moral paradox.

  4. Jeni Says:

    Kelly, I have a 13yo and I wish to beat her in a fight several times a day. 😉


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